Tram ride home

I never realised until taking the tram home this evening how many skanky young girls get on this time of the night. Clearly going home before daddy shouts at them but making enough noise to piss me off when I have had a drink. 

I reiterate what I said in a previous post, the youngsters of today have no respect. 

#chavs

J xoxo

When I was young...

The youth of today never fail to make me sick. When I was young...not that I'm old but I mean when I was considerably younger in my teens, I was taught to have respect for my elders, to show compassion and kindness to those in wheelchairs and to always say please and thank you. Nowadays it's not like that.

I was standing at the bus stop today and there was a lady in a wheelchair. She was waiting in line with her mother to board the bus that had arrived. As the doors opened to let the passengers get on, a chavvy cunt walked in front because she was taking a while to manoeuvre her wheelchair up the ramp. When he was challenged by the bus driver he ignored him and sat down on the seat. Naturally this got my back up. Everyone after him seemed to follow suit, boarded the bus and not letting the lady get on. 

I waited until it was my turn and put y arm out to allow her on the bus. The bus driver said nothing to any of the other people that had pushed in, nor did he apologise to the woman that was kept waiting. She thanked me for which I replied there was no need. At the end of the day it's common courtesy but it seems people don't have that anymore. 

It makes me sad to think that we don't have any respect anymore, not just for the elderly but for those who are less fortunate than ourselves. 

J xoxo

I'm back!! Sorry....

I'm sorry. I've neglected my bus blog for some time I know!!! In fact quite a while and it's not been due to the lack of content but merely just because I...we'll have been busy. 

BUT rest assured I am back from today with the daily blog! 

So today's queue is relatively quiet and boring but must update you regarding the posh bus! It's been invaded by chavs...not just a few but fucking loads of them! Single parent mothers with nineteen screaming fucking children now regularly frequent my once serene and peaceful posh bus. My posh bus has now become yet another hellish journey on my way to meet M. I hear the daily misery from the dole dossers and jobless cunts from their tales of having no money to how many slappers they slept with at the weekend. Still on the plus side it gives me something to write about. 

So as I board my once posh not so push bus anymore to travel twenty five minutes  to hell I can report that I have one dole dosser, one OAP and two ignorant foreigners. Oh joy! 

J xoxo

Its only Tuesday?!?!

What a great end to the my day!

I thought for a change I'd finish early, peruse the various shops in my not so lovely City and get an earlier bus to meet my beloved. I tried on many different pairs of boots and shoes and came away empty handed. Strolling down to the bus stop, listening to my music, I was feeling in a positive and upbeat mood. 

I queued with the many various species that frequent my bus stop and as my posh bus arrived, I placed my hand into my bag to take out my pass and to my horror...NO PASS!!!! Where could it be?!? Then I remembered I had lent it to my supervisor earlier in the day! Fuck! 

However, after a quick phone call and a very out of breath supervisor later, my bus pass was returned with a lot of apologies and hugs! No harm done. 

I only had to wait a matter of minutes later before the next posh bus arrived and now I'm safely placed in my seat and enjoying the comfortable ride to meet M. 

Nothing else to report really. I'm kind of missing Mr Bus Pervert and the Smelly Woman. They make such great blogs! Fingers crossed for tomorrow! 

J xoxo

I am back!

Well I've been back for a while (a week) but I mean to live bus blogging!! 

The return of my flushed and drowned iPhone means I have the technology to blog live from the bus again! Silly thing to get excited about right? No I didn't think so either!

So I decided to wait for the posh bus today. I walked up to the bus queue a littler after five today and decided not to join for the chav bus after last week. Although waiting for this service means I am slightly later in meeting M at least I can travel in reasonable comfort. 

There is only one downside and draw back to waiting however and that is the bus nerd that also catches this bus. He was the one that was so kindly giving live updates on a delay and traffic issue late last year even though we already knew! 

As I sit here he shouting (he thinks he is talking) to the driver that is situated at the front of the bus. He is sat in the middle. He's currently complaining about the traffic in the City...zzzzzz!

I love this bus service I really do! And on a Monday there is also a distinct lack of students and I feel that may be due to them all still being in bed from the amount of alcohol they have consumed over the weekend! Hurrah for me! 

Oh wait! The bus nerd has got off the bus! Double hurrah! 

I think I am going to sit back and enjoy this ride home today and sign off for the evening! Have a good one all! 

J xoxo

Monday Blues

Happy Monday all! I fucking hate Mondays for so many reasons but the main one being that the phone lines at work are jammed with annoying students complaining, moaning and demanding. It's bad enough that they get on my bus every night but to speak to them at work too is TOO much! 

So far it's been an OK kind of morning. Started the day off with a lovely fry up and a catch up with friends and the stupidvisor has gone home for the afternoon so it's nice and quiet for the remainder of the day! 

Lunch time over now so back to work I must go but rest assured the blog will continue on my journey home later! 

Ta ta for now! 

J xoxo

Welcome back to me and the UK...

YAY! Welcome back to me! I've been away a while right? Did you miss me? Well let me tell you I DID NOT miss public transport! So, let me fill you on the first three days back at work...actually no WAIT! I have story to tell you about the guy next to me on the plane! 

SO...I was flying Delta back to Heathrow last Thursday. I had booked and paid for an upgraded seat (not first or business before you get any ideas of me being rich OR posh) that had extra leg room and bigger seats. I am by no means a small framed person...I have hips and a Kim Kardashian sized ass and I am proud of that but it seemed to be causing the guy in the seat next to me some problems. 

Shortly before taxiing out to the runway from Atlanta he made a quick "goodbye" call to his wife (or I assume it was his wife) and during the call said that "...yes the plane is OK, lots of leg room but I am getting crushed in my seat"! He said this WHILST I WAS NEXT TO HIM! Talk about rude. Needless to say I made the rest of his stay MOST uncomfortable with me stretching my legs out over his side and using the arm rest! :) 

Anyway, back in the UK now and Monday's trip home was quite normal...but yesterday...that was the bus journey from HELL!! 

I was already running late to meet the other half and had to reside myself to getting the chav bus. The queue wasn't too bad when I joined but in front of me were a number of pushchairs and kids. Now, don't get me wrong I understand that babies NEED to stay in their pushchairs. BUT, when you have a toddler of 4/5 years old IN A FUCKING PUSHCHAIR ON THE BUS? What the actual fuck! Get the kid OUT and sit her on your knee. But OH NO this chav had to take up two spaces. One for her fat lazy arse and the other for the pushchair that had her kid in it...which meant that an actual mother with a NEWBORN baby could NOT get on the bus. The bus driver...did sweet fuck all. I despair! I found an empty seat next to a woman in her 50's (that's being fair). The bus was full of sweaty chav students and single mothers with attitude problems. I smiled at the lady next to me as I sat down and the bus began on its way. Shortly into the journey she pulls out her mobile phones and types the following text message:-

"On my way home now. Will see you soon. Got a right fat cunt sat next to me. Got no room." 

Again, there was an issue with my curves. Let me just say that I had less than half of the existing seat left to sit on because her large and lazy fucking arse was covering the majority of it. I let that message go...smile and chuckled to myself and then she typed this.

"She needs a fucking seat to herself she is so fat."

Now this pissed me off. BUT as I should not have been looking at her phone screen I didn't feel it was necessary to say anything. But I am truly shocked that someone of her age is name calling and what is effectively bullying someone that she doesn't know. 

I hate getting that bus because that is the kind of people it attracts. If I wasn't so jet lagged and tired I probably would have said something regardless of whether or not I should have but I decided to let it go. I am not upset by her comments but other people may have been if it was about them and others are not as strong as me. 

I did give her an evil stare when I got off the bus though! 

Today I travelled in peace on the posh bus with no bullying and screaming kids!

Right well time for me to get some sleep...I have lots to catch up on!

Ciao for now!

J xoxo

Umbrella Wet Bags & more!

I know that this is post is deviating from what the blog is about but as I am on holiday and unable to publish blog posts about public transport (at least until I get my flight home) I thought I would post about my day today and as it's my blog, fuck it I will do it anyway! :) 

Today I visited the medical centre...not for me but with my friend S. She had an appointment and I wanted to go along with her for support. Firstly, the medical centres here in Knoxville are totally different to those that we have at home in the UK. They are clean, modern, organised, have free coffee, no electronic boards calling your name and they have umbrella wet bags. Yes, bags for we umbrellas! You are wondering what these are aren't you? Well let me enlighten you. In the UK, when it rains, we tend to close umbrellas upon entering a building and rather than leave them by the door (which could result in them getting stolen) we shake them off in the doorway, covering the already slippy shiny floor with water and walk to where we need to be leaving a trail of rain behind us as we go. Here in good ol' Knoxville they have bags to put your wet, soaking umbrella, limiting the mess and drops that would normally have been left behind. I was so stunned when I saw this. Such a simple yet genius idea right?! Well I have taken a bag for myself. I won't use it, I'll keep it as a keep sake but it got me to thinking how we would benefit from a simple idea like this. Would the UK ever do it? No. We would complain about the cost of the bags more than likely. Shame. I may be the only person in the UK that owns a wet umbrella bag now! 

Also what amazed me today about our trip was valet parking. For $3 you can have your car parked for you and you can walk into the medical centre right outside the door. For $3. That's all. The guys that were doing it were soaked to the bone (it was pissing down here today) but still they smiled and rushed around collecting cars and taking cars to be parked. Again, something the UK could benefit from but it will never catch on.

I also forgot to mention that yesterday, on our drive back home I passed a new type of store that I haven't seen before. It was called the Couples Intimacy Store...yes you know what I am talking about, it was a sex shop. I have never heard it called a Couples Intimacy Store before and it goes to show that people over here are a lot more laid back about sex that those in the UK. 

Well it's nearing nine thirty and my body is telling me to sleep now so I am going to get into bed. Tomorrow I am off to the Titanic museum and I need to be awake early so goodnight y'all! ;) 

J xoxo

Knoxville, TN...

Howdy y'all!! No I haven't turned into a southerner don't worry. I just LOVE the way everyone speaks here. 

So I have been in Knoxville, TN for three days so far (well two really as Monday was kind of a write off as I was travelling for the most part of it) and I honestly really love it here. I have been to NY and Boston in my 36 years of life but here in Knoxville it's different. EVERYONE is so so polite here. They pack your shopping away, they box left over food for you to take home! So far, 48 hours in I am mind blown at how nice everyone is. Don't get me wrong people were nice in NY and Boston but here it's different. The only thing I am struggling with are the roads. I can't get used to getting in the car on the opposite side, driving on the opposite side of the road and the turning system at traffic lights. 

Let me try and explain. In the UK we have a filter light on our traffic light systems that allows us to make a left or right turn when the other junction is on green. Here, they have no filter system. At a four way junction, as long as it's safe, you can turn. Problem is there is traffic coming from all directions at you, the are on average 4 or 5 lanes of traffic on each side of the road and there are pedestrian crossings on some!! My friend S is certainly a confident and brave driver as there is NO WAY I could cope with that! I also found out that it is not illegal to drive over here and use your mobile (cell) phone whilst doing so!?! CRAZY! I saw so many drivers yesterday not paying attention to the roads and driving while talking. It's only illegal to text and drive at the same time but in all honesty I don't see the difference!!! 

I'm slowly getting use to the time difference now and I think my jet lag has subsided a little. We only went out briefly yesterday to do some essential shopping (even though all shopping is essential) and had a chill out for the rest of the day. There are plenty more days to explore!!! 

Well I guess it's time for me to jump in the shower! Speak to y'all later ;) 

J xoxo

A new type of bus...

Good morning all from the lovely Heathrow Airport Terminal 4! Yes, that's right I am at the airport and about to embark on a journey across the Atlantic to reconnect with my American sister (not my real sister but as good as)!! So today's blog will be about a different type of bus...a sky bus! LOL! 

No seriously, it's 6.30am in the morning and I can't check in my bags for at least another four hours so I thought I may as well share my thoughts with you all today! 

The thing about me is I am a people watcher. Always have been. I'm not nosy but I like to people watch and at a busy airport like Heathrow there are a LOT of people to watch. I'm sitting here in Caffe Nero and wondering where all those around me are travelling to. Take the guy next to me for example. Single white male, age 50-60, travelling alone with very light baggage. Looks like he is only taking a short trip somewhere judging by the size of his case. Then there are the group of young boys (who want to be men) that look like they are going on a lads holiday. Surprisingly though they are drinking coffee first thing in the morning as oppose to something a little stronger. They've already taken the mandatory airport selfies (of which I will NOT be doing as I look like shit) and now they are chattering and giggling with one another.

The sun is slowly coming up here in London and it looks to be a lovely day! It's a shame I am on the wrong side of the airport as I would have liked to have got some sunrise photography! Never mind! 

If  I can I will try and blog from the skybus! I have paid for an upgraded seat so I shouldn't have anything to moan about...hopefully! 

Hope you all have a wonderful day and I will blog you all soon! 

J xoxo

Crap crap and crap!

What a great start to my holiday!

I decided that I'd finish early today and get the earlier bus to meet my beloved. I run (fast walk) to get the posh bus that leaves at 16.40 and as I approach the bus that is waiting for me to get on, I can't find my bus card. Panic sets in and then I realise that it may have dropped off my bag on the chav bus yesterday! Damn damn damn!! It wouldn't be so bad for the fact that it doesn't have a photo on it so some scummy benefit cheat is probably using it to commute to and from the pub today. Ha! Not for long. As soon as this is posted I'll ring and cancel it!!! 

It's a quiet and quite normal bus ride home today but then that's quite normal for the posh bus. This'll be the last bus ride I take now (apart from the National Express coach on Monday morning) until 21st September as I'm USA bound next week!! ✈️🇺🇸✈️🇺🇸

So I'll sign off here today and bid you all a great weekend and happy bussing! 

J xoxo

Why I hate the chav bus...

Today, for reasons beyond my control, I have had to get the bus I really don't like. The chav bus. I am time restricted and don't have time to wait for my normal "luxury" ride home on the posh bus (I'm playing Bingo) so I've had to "suck it up" as they say and get this one. Already I can feel my skin crawling!! 

I've boarded and sat down. A woman (no older than 19) gets on with four children, no more than a year between each of them. They are screaming, kicking the back of my chair and she is stuffing her face with a McDonalds, completely oblivious to it all. I struggle to have one child, to get pregnant and give life to a baby, yet this ignorant bitch is ignoring all four of her children who clearly want a little attention and affection. In fact she is more interested in her phone and picking her (badly done) false nails. Women like her make me sick. 

I hate this bus. 

Then there is the gossiper. The woman who is telling her friend (very loudly) of how much money she has spent on her new designer handbag (it's a fake). Why boast? Who cares!?

And top it all of there is the pissed up smelly tramp who has been sat in 'spoons all day drinking his benefits away and has now plonked himself next to me and I can't breathe. I literally can't breathe! Thank fuck it's time to get off! 

Ciao for now! 

J xoxo

Oh. My. God.

It's my first day back after the bank holiday and my bus has been invaded by fucking pushchairs and ignorant foreigners who don't know how to fucking queue. 

Is there no common courtesy in this country anymore? When has it become acceptable to push in front of someone that has been queuing for longer than them? When have pushchairs been allowed to take space of those with wheelchairs. 

I genuinely despair getting the bus these days. And all this is happening on the posh bus! 

That Friday feeling!

A little late on the blog post as on my journey today I was busy clinging on for dear life. I am not sure that the bus driver was aware of how to use the brake pedal correctly and during the service flung one or two passengers the length of the bus along the way! 

However, despite his lack of driving skills, he did make the passengers chuckle today. Our local Council (can't be named for legal purposes) have a nack of installing roadworks and temporary lights along every main road throughout the City. It was clear this evening that said roadworks and traffic lights were causing a little congestion along the route. I am thinking, from the driving mentioned above, that Mr Bus Driver was late and this delay was only making him more annoyed. When reaching the roundabout and the aforementioned traffic lights, Mr Bus Driver slammed on the brakes, exited the vehicle and began to kick the traffic cones away from the road that were in place to cone off one lane of traffic (another reason why there was a growing queue of cars). There was clearly no need for this lane closure that was causing all the traffic to funnel into one lane during rush hour. Of course, his actions, upon entering the bus to continue the journey, were applauded by all as well as from the many passing drivers who had been blocked in by the closure. Hurrah for his efforts! 

Other than that there was nothing really exciting to report. Such is the case on the not-so-chav bus. I am thinking that maybe I should take the chav bus next week just so I have more to write?! Thoughts?

Anyways, have a great weekend and Bank Holiday (for those in the UK) and I will see you all next Tuesday (or CUNT if you like to use the acronym)! 

J xoxo

Bad choice!!! 😒

Waiting for the posh bus was a bad choice today. The annoying student from the earlier place has just boarded...and he's continuing to tell his friends about the "fit bird" (bloke) from Rock City. He stinks. He stinks of alcohol. When do students actually study!? 

I have also come across a rude and obnoxious cunt who asked me get off his bag which was placed on the seat next to me. I politely asked the man if his bag had paid for a seat on the bus today. He said no. I kindly asked him to remove his bag as it was in my seat, which I had paid for. I would photograph said cunt but it would look too obvious and his garish face may break my camera. Needless to say he moved to the back seat and put his back on the seat next to him. Cunt. 

On a non-bus related note, I received a funky new desk and chair at work today. Needless to say I was the topic of discussion from the miserable cunt at work. I am sure she will invent some back ailment so she too can have one or something better. She hates being outdone. 

Back to the bus, other than the obnoxious cunt and the student there 

is no one else of excitement on my bus. 

Time to sign off now. 

Ciao for now!

J xoxo 

Waiting in line...

Why is it that the seats at the bus stops are always full of fat chavs, lazy students and one elderly person? The elderly person, granted, should be allowed to sit there, they are old...but the twenty-something lazy student who's probably been in Wetherspoons all day pissing away his student loan and telling his "friends" (who probably only like him because mummy and daddy give him an allowance every month) how many "girls" he slept with at the bar the other night, should not. If he has stamina (which I doubt he does) he can fucking stand! He's obviously gay. No man claims to have slept with that many women in one night unless he is hung like a horse and from looking at him, he is not. 

I'm not sitting down...I am standing in the queue. Just for the record. 

Then there is the college student that insists on playing his crap (the real name for rap music) on a wireless speaker that is tucked into his chav jeans? No one else wants to hear that shit!!! What makes you think we do?

I am disappointed that Mr Bus Pervert isn't in the queue. He was the topic of much discussion at work today. I am currently deciding on which bus to get to my darling beloved and having looked at the current queue I will opt to wait for the not-so-chav bus today!

More updates when I board!!

J xoxo

Dodging a bullet

I narrowly dodged a bullet today. I was in the queue and had settled myself for the fact that I would have to get the chav bus today (explanation later on) when my usual bus (the not so chav bus) rolled up behind.

So let me explain the difference between the two. 

The Chav Bus - this is run by a corporation bus company and runs into one of the many deprived areas of Nottingham. It runs the same route as the not-so-chav bus. However, there is one massive difference between the two. The chavs, benefit dossers, single parent mothers of fifteen children from different fathers, people who have no sense of hygiene and general scum of the City, tend to frequent this service. Now I'm by no means upper class however, I shower regularly, I've worked since the age of 14, have never claimed benefits, have no children and made sure when I did have casual sex that I was always protected and I speak proper English. 

The Not-So-Chav Bus - this bus runs the exact same route as the above bus however is run by a private bus firm. It's only a single decker (less chavs), the drivers are always polite and friendly, the bus is clean and well ventilated and is generally a better ride home. This service used to be empty with only a handful of passengers. However, the service is now appealing more to the student population of the City (lazy fucking cunts) and as such there has been an increase of people on my bus over the last few months. 

Today's service is a quarter full and is chav free, smell free and although it was late, is thankfully driving past many bus stops that have passengers waiting in order to catch up with the timetable! Hurrah! 

I feel bad that today's blog is relatively boring in comparison to the fun I have had in the past! Ah well, shit happens. There is always tomorrow. 

As I reach my stop I will say ta ta for now and see you tomorrow for another fun filled journey home!

J xoxo

Welcome to my blog!!!

So...after many months of venting on Facebook, I have been pursueded to start a blog. The topic...my bus ride home. 

As most of you know I catch a public transport bus home every evening after work and it happens to pass through a not-so-very desirable part of my City. In my time I have come across many different characters of whom you will become familiar with along the way. 

So, sit back, relax and enjoy as I share my experiences of my bus ride home!

J xoxo