Its only Tuesday?!?!

What a great end to the my day!

I thought for a change I'd finish early, peruse the various shops in my not so lovely City and get an earlier bus to meet my beloved. I tried on many different pairs of boots and shoes and came away empty handed. Strolling down to the bus stop, listening to my music, I was feeling in a positive and upbeat mood. 

I queued with the many various species that frequent my bus stop and as my posh bus arrived, I placed my hand into my bag to take out my pass and to my horror...NO PASS!!!! Where could it be?!? Then I remembered I had lent it to my supervisor earlier in the day! Fuck! 

However, after a quick phone call and a very out of breath supervisor later, my bus pass was returned with a lot of apologies and hugs! No harm done. 

I only had to wait a matter of minutes later before the next posh bus arrived and now I'm safely placed in my seat and enjoying the comfortable ride to meet M. 

Nothing else to report really. I'm kind of missing Mr Bus Pervert and the Smelly Woman. They make such great blogs! Fingers crossed for tomorrow! 

J xoxo

I am back!

Well I've been back for a while (a week) but I mean to live bus blogging!! 

The return of my flushed and drowned iPhone means I have the technology to blog live from the bus again! Silly thing to get excited about right? No I didn't think so either!

So I decided to wait for the posh bus today. I walked up to the bus queue a littler after five today and decided not to join for the chav bus after last week. Although waiting for this service means I am slightly later in meeting M at least I can travel in reasonable comfort. 

There is only one downside and draw back to waiting however and that is the bus nerd that also catches this bus. He was the one that was so kindly giving live updates on a delay and traffic issue late last year even though we already knew! 

As I sit here he shouting (he thinks he is talking) to the driver that is situated at the front of the bus. He is sat in the middle. He's currently complaining about the traffic in the City...zzzzzz!

I love this bus service I really do! And on a Monday there is also a distinct lack of students and I feel that may be due to them all still being in bed from the amount of alcohol they have consumed over the weekend! Hurrah for me! 

Oh wait! The bus nerd has got off the bus! Double hurrah! 

I think I am going to sit back and enjoy this ride home today and sign off for the evening! Have a good one all! 

J xoxo

Monday Blues

Happy Monday all! I fucking hate Mondays for so many reasons but the main one being that the phone lines at work are jammed with annoying students complaining, moaning and demanding. It's bad enough that they get on my bus every night but to speak to them at work too is TOO much! 

So far it's been an OK kind of morning. Started the day off with a lovely fry up and a catch up with friends and the stupidvisor has gone home for the afternoon so it's nice and quiet for the remainder of the day! 

Lunch time over now so back to work I must go but rest assured the blog will continue on my journey home later! 

Ta ta for now! 

J xoxo

Welcome back to me and the UK...

YAY! Welcome back to me! I've been away a while right? Did you miss me? Well let me tell you I DID NOT miss public transport! So, let me fill you on the first three days back at work...actually no WAIT! I have story to tell you about the guy next to me on the plane! 

SO...I was flying Delta back to Heathrow last Thursday. I had booked and paid for an upgraded seat (not first or business before you get any ideas of me being rich OR posh) that had extra leg room and bigger seats. I am by no means a small framed person...I have hips and a Kim Kardashian sized ass and I am proud of that but it seemed to be causing the guy in the seat next to me some problems. 

Shortly before taxiing out to the runway from Atlanta he made a quick "goodbye" call to his wife (or I assume it was his wife) and during the call said that "...yes the plane is OK, lots of leg room but I am getting crushed in my seat"! He said this WHILST I WAS NEXT TO HIM! Talk about rude. Needless to say I made the rest of his stay MOST uncomfortable with me stretching my legs out over his side and using the arm rest! :) 

Anyway, back in the UK now and Monday's trip home was quite normal...but yesterday...that was the bus journey from HELL!! 

I was already running late to meet the other half and had to reside myself to getting the chav bus. The queue wasn't too bad when I joined but in front of me were a number of pushchairs and kids. Now, don't get me wrong I understand that babies NEED to stay in their pushchairs. BUT, when you have a toddler of 4/5 years old IN A FUCKING PUSHCHAIR ON THE BUS? What the actual fuck! Get the kid OUT and sit her on your knee. But OH NO this chav had to take up two spaces. One for her fat lazy arse and the other for the pushchair that had her kid in it...which meant that an actual mother with a NEWBORN baby could NOT get on the bus. The bus driver...did sweet fuck all. I despair! I found an empty seat next to a woman in her 50's (that's being fair). The bus was full of sweaty chav students and single mothers with attitude problems. I smiled at the lady next to me as I sat down and the bus began on its way. Shortly into the journey she pulls out her mobile phones and types the following text message:-

"On my way home now. Will see you soon. Got a right fat cunt sat next to me. Got no room." 

Again, there was an issue with my curves. Let me just say that I had less than half of the existing seat left to sit on because her large and lazy fucking arse was covering the majority of it. I let that message go...smile and chuckled to myself and then she typed this.

"She needs a fucking seat to herself she is so fat."

Now this pissed me off. BUT as I should not have been looking at her phone screen I didn't feel it was necessary to say anything. But I am truly shocked that someone of her age is name calling and what is effectively bullying someone that she doesn't know. 

I hate getting that bus because that is the kind of people it attracts. If I wasn't so jet lagged and tired I probably would have said something regardless of whether or not I should have but I decided to let it go. I am not upset by her comments but other people may have been if it was about them and others are not as strong as me. 

I did give her an evil stare when I got off the bus though! 

Today I travelled in peace on the posh bus with no bullying and screaming kids!

Right well time for me to get some sleep...I have lots to catch up on!

Ciao for now!

J xoxo

Umbrella Wet Bags & more!

I know that this is post is deviating from what the blog is about but as I am on holiday and unable to publish blog posts about public transport (at least until I get my flight home) I thought I would post about my day today and as it's my blog, fuck it I will do it anyway! :) 

Today I visited the medical centre...not for me but with my friend S. She had an appointment and I wanted to go along with her for support. Firstly, the medical centres here in Knoxville are totally different to those that we have at home in the UK. They are clean, modern, organised, have free coffee, no electronic boards calling your name and they have umbrella wet bags. Yes, bags for we umbrellas! You are wondering what these are aren't you? Well let me enlighten you. In the UK, when it rains, we tend to close umbrellas upon entering a building and rather than leave them by the door (which could result in them getting stolen) we shake them off in the doorway, covering the already slippy shiny floor with water and walk to where we need to be leaving a trail of rain behind us as we go. Here in good ol' Knoxville they have bags to put your wet, soaking umbrella, limiting the mess and drops that would normally have been left behind. I was so stunned when I saw this. Such a simple yet genius idea right?! Well I have taken a bag for myself. I won't use it, I'll keep it as a keep sake but it got me to thinking how we would benefit from a simple idea like this. Would the UK ever do it? No. We would complain about the cost of the bags more than likely. Shame. I may be the only person in the UK that owns a wet umbrella bag now! 

Also what amazed me today about our trip was valet parking. For $3 you can have your car parked for you and you can walk into the medical centre right outside the door. For $3. That's all. The guys that were doing it were soaked to the bone (it was pissing down here today) but still they smiled and rushed around collecting cars and taking cars to be parked. Again, something the UK could benefit from but it will never catch on.

I also forgot to mention that yesterday, on our drive back home I passed a new type of store that I haven't seen before. It was called the Couples Intimacy Store...yes you know what I am talking about, it was a sex shop. I have never heard it called a Couples Intimacy Store before and it goes to show that people over here are a lot more laid back about sex that those in the UK. 

Well it's nearing nine thirty and my body is telling me to sleep now so I am going to get into bed. Tomorrow I am off to the Titanic museum and I need to be awake early so goodnight y'all! ;) 

J xoxo

Knoxville, TN...

Howdy y'all!! No I haven't turned into a southerner don't worry. I just LOVE the way everyone speaks here. 

So I have been in Knoxville, TN for three days so far (well two really as Monday was kind of a write off as I was travelling for the most part of it) and I honestly really love it here. I have been to NY and Boston in my 36 years of life but here in Knoxville it's different. EVERYONE is so so polite here. They pack your shopping away, they box left over food for you to take home! So far, 48 hours in I am mind blown at how nice everyone is. Don't get me wrong people were nice in NY and Boston but here it's different. The only thing I am struggling with are the roads. I can't get used to getting in the car on the opposite side, driving on the opposite side of the road and the turning system at traffic lights. 

Let me try and explain. In the UK we have a filter light on our traffic light systems that allows us to make a left or right turn when the other junction is on green. Here, they have no filter system. At a four way junction, as long as it's safe, you can turn. Problem is there is traffic coming from all directions at you, the are on average 4 or 5 lanes of traffic on each side of the road and there are pedestrian crossings on some!! My friend S is certainly a confident and brave driver as there is NO WAY I could cope with that! I also found out that it is not illegal to drive over here and use your mobile (cell) phone whilst doing so!?! CRAZY! I saw so many drivers yesterday not paying attention to the roads and driving while talking. It's only illegal to text and drive at the same time but in all honesty I don't see the difference!!! 

I'm slowly getting use to the time difference now and I think my jet lag has subsided a little. We only went out briefly yesterday to do some essential shopping (even though all shopping is essential) and had a chill out for the rest of the day. There are plenty more days to explore!!! 

Well I guess it's time for me to jump in the shower! Speak to y'all later ;) 

J xoxo

A new type of bus...

Good morning all from the lovely Heathrow Airport Terminal 4! Yes, that's right I am at the airport and about to embark on a journey across the Atlantic to reconnect with my American sister (not my real sister but as good as)!! So today's blog will be about a different type of bus...a sky bus! LOL! 

No seriously, it's 6.30am in the morning and I can't check in my bags for at least another four hours so I thought I may as well share my thoughts with you all today! 

The thing about me is I am a people watcher. Always have been. I'm not nosy but I like to people watch and at a busy airport like Heathrow there are a LOT of people to watch. I'm sitting here in Caffe Nero and wondering where all those around me are travelling to. Take the guy next to me for example. Single white male, age 50-60, travelling alone with very light baggage. Looks like he is only taking a short trip somewhere judging by the size of his case. Then there are the group of young boys (who want to be men) that look like they are going on a lads holiday. Surprisingly though they are drinking coffee first thing in the morning as oppose to something a little stronger. They've already taken the mandatory airport selfies (of which I will NOT be doing as I look like shit) and now they are chattering and giggling with one another.

The sun is slowly coming up here in London and it looks to be a lovely day! It's a shame I am on the wrong side of the airport as I would have liked to have got some sunrise photography! Never mind! 

If  I can I will try and blog from the skybus! I have paid for an upgraded seat so I shouldn't have anything to moan about...hopefully! 

Hope you all have a wonderful day and I will blog you all soon! 

J xoxo

Crap crap and crap!

What a great start to my holiday!

I decided that I'd finish early today and get the earlier bus to meet my beloved. I run (fast walk) to get the posh bus that leaves at 16.40 and as I approach the bus that is waiting for me to get on, I can't find my bus card. Panic sets in and then I realise that it may have dropped off my bag on the chav bus yesterday! Damn damn damn!! It wouldn't be so bad for the fact that it doesn't have a photo on it so some scummy benefit cheat is probably using it to commute to and from the pub today. Ha! Not for long. As soon as this is posted I'll ring and cancel it!!! 

It's a quiet and quite normal bus ride home today but then that's quite normal for the posh bus. This'll be the last bus ride I take now (apart from the National Express coach on Monday morning) until 21st September as I'm USA bound next week!! ✈️🇺🇸✈️🇺🇸

So I'll sign off here today and bid you all a great weekend and happy bussing! 

J xoxo

Why I hate the chav bus...

Today, for reasons beyond my control, I have had to get the bus I really don't like. The chav bus. I am time restricted and don't have time to wait for my normal "luxury" ride home on the posh bus (I'm playing Bingo) so I've had to "suck it up" as they say and get this one. Already I can feel my skin crawling!! 

I've boarded and sat down. A woman (no older than 19) gets on with four children, no more than a year between each of them. They are screaming, kicking the back of my chair and she is stuffing her face with a McDonalds, completely oblivious to it all. I struggle to have one child, to get pregnant and give life to a baby, yet this ignorant bitch is ignoring all four of her children who clearly want a little attention and affection. In fact she is more interested in her phone and picking her (badly done) false nails. Women like her make me sick. 

I hate this bus. 

Then there is the gossiper. The woman who is telling her friend (very loudly) of how much money she has spent on her new designer handbag (it's a fake). Why boast? Who cares!?

And top it all of there is the pissed up smelly tramp who has been sat in 'spoons all day drinking his benefits away and has now plonked himself next to me and I can't breathe. I literally can't breathe! Thank fuck it's time to get off! 

Ciao for now! 

J xoxo

Oh. My. God.

It's my first day back after the bank holiday and my bus has been invaded by fucking pushchairs and ignorant foreigners who don't know how to fucking queue. 

Is there no common courtesy in this country anymore? When has it become acceptable to push in front of someone that has been queuing for longer than them? When have pushchairs been allowed to take space of those with wheelchairs. 

I genuinely despair getting the bus these days. And all this is happening on the posh bus!